The Hidden Hurt
L. Ron Hubbard called Dianetics a “Science of the Mind”. He touted it as the answer to all Man’s problems and the only thing that can free him.
Dianetics is know within Scientology as Book One. It is the foundation stone for everything that Scientology is today.
The cult claims that by following their tech, what they call Auditing, to the letter, one can free oneself from all the baggage life brings with it. The traumas one experiences and that leave behind negative emotions can all be made to disappear. One will remember the past but will no longer be affected by it.
While on the surface this sounds nice, who wouldn’t like to be freed from the painful emotional residue of abuse or betrayal? Who wouldn’t want to traipse through life unaffected by our foibles and the bumps in the road?
The problem is that it is all a pipe dream.
Nothing more than false promises of freedom that cannot be delivered via two soup cans and a constant barrage of questioning.
In her book Troublemaker, Leah Remini talks about her own experiences with auditing.
“The process could produce a great sense of cathartic relief. Here was a problem I wasn’t even aware of, that I may have created for myself, and after much back-and-forth, I was able to overcome that problem. So while in session I would feel the euphoria of self-discovery and growth, back in the real world I was still angry, depressed, and judgmental. Looking at my diaries from that period (journaling was frowned upon by the church, but I did it anyway), I would note that I still wanted more for my life and my family’s life. My Scientology realizations were great in the church building, but I would start cursing when I couldn’t find my car in a parking lot or when I had no money left in my bank account. It just wasn’t there for me in real-life situations, this sense of accomplishment of having solved problems. It really existed only when I was in the presence of other Scientologists, who completely bought into it. What I didn’t realize at the time was that all the understanding I gained through auditing only related back to my life in the church and helped me be a Scientologist. My “gains” in Scientology were not relating to the real world.”
Auditing did not address her issues. Rather it gave her a temporary feeling of relief by making her vulnerable to suggestion by her auditor. He told her her needle was floating therefore it was proof that her troubles were gone. The problem was that when faced with the reality of the world outside of the controlled isolation of the auditing room, the tech failed.
Scientology is a cult of negativity, Disconnection and suppression. It uses fear as a control.
Fear of failure, fear of exclusion, fear of damnation, fear of Disconnection.
If you do not understand the material you are doing something wrong. If your stats are down, you are faced with criticism and ostracism. If you question Scientology you are evil.
Fear of being labeled a Suppressive Person and losing everything hangs overhead, an ever present reminder to tow the line.
Auditing helps to reinforce those fears by convincing the member that if the tech is not working the member is at fault. In order to avoid the appearance of noncompliance the person being audited will say what needs to be said in order to continue to show gains. Fear is a powerful motivator and when used as a weapon of control it is extremely effective.
Rather than dealing with issues, the emotions are repressed. The person lives in a constant cycle of having to keep up the appearance of success to avoid the consequences all while fighting within themselves the nagging doubt that something is not working.
For a Scientologist, the firmly instilled conditions of guilt and self doubt play over and over within the mind.
“It’s my fault.”
“I must have crimes.”
“What is happening to me? I don’t have crimes but this is not working!”
“What am I doing wrong?”
For those who have escaped from Scientology this constant self scrutiny, even subconsciously, is an insidious shadow that exists to create pain and instability. It does not just disappear because one left the cult.
Repressing one’s emotions while living in a constant state of self-doubt and guilt results in even more negative and destructive issues.
The only way off this treadmill is through real counseling and hard work.
Ripping the box open and exposing all the hidden issues is frightening and painful. Reaching down through all of the feelings and defenses to get to the root of the problem can be daunting. Auditing only deals with the surface. It is more interested in manipulating the mind into compliance than with addressing the actual issues.
Healing takes time and courage.
For some, it is easier to just continue to repress and suppress the negativity. They decide, consciously or subconsciously, to accept that they are what Scientology created.
It is so much safer for one to internalize and say “there is just something wrong with me. This is who I am. Everyone else just has to accept that” than for them to actually sit down and admit “This was done to me and now I’m lost. I need help.”
For many of those who have left Scientology, they did not leave Scientology behind.
It still lives within them, affecting their lives and their relationships.
For the brave ones who have already shown great courage by breaking away from this cult then continue to determinedly move forward, choosing healing and health; keep up the fight. You can do this! It is not easy and the road is long but you are not alone.
For those still trapped in the Scientology mindset of guilt and doubt, this is not who you are. You do not have to accept the rage within you. You do not have to live a life of fear, anger and loneliness. Pushing away the people who would love and support you, choosing isolation and anger is the Scientology way. Reach out. Take the risk. You can heal and find wholeness and peace.
Scientology Auditing amounts to the violation, the raping, of ones mind. You do not have to live, trapped in this violation any longer.
You did not “pull it in”, you’ve done nothing to deserve the things that this cult inflicted upon you.
There is help if you just reach out.
You can do this.
We believe in you.